tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-78985522435822538542024-02-20T21:14:03.997+08:00Daily Moo's, Hoo's & Haa'sAnDuLuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13452256137522885226noreply@blogger.comBlogger479125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7898552243582253854.post-38444729192170607572012-12-13T10:11:00.000+08:002012-12-13T10:14:07.649+08:00Kencing<span style="color: white;"><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Satu hari Amin terbangun mlm. Dia nak kencing. Dia pun </span><span style="font-size: medium;">masuk bilik air.</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: white;"><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Amin sungguh terkezut bila lampu tu terbuka sendiri. </span><span style="font-size: medium;">Lepas kencing dia pun terus keluar dan dia tutup pintu </span><span style="font-size: medium;">toilet... Sekali lagi dia terkejut bila lampu toilet tu tertutup </span><span style="font-size: medium;">sendiri... </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: white;"><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Cepat-cepat dia kejut kan bini dia yang tengah lena tidur. </span><span style="font-size: medium;">Dia pun menceritakan hal yg terjadi kat toilet tadi..lampu tu </span><span style="font-size: medium;">terbukak dan padam sendiri. </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: white;"><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Bini Amin yang dalam keadaan sedar tak sedar tu pun </span><span style="font-size: medium;">berkata.. "Dah... dia buat dah perangai lama... </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: medium;"></span><span style="color: white;"><span style="background-color: black;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Awak</span><span style="font-size: medium;"> kencin dlm peti ais...???</span></span></span></div>
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AnDuLuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13452256137522885226noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7898552243582253854.post-24070800386872975722012-03-12T10:12:00.001+08:002012-03-12T10:15:23.280+08:00Monday JokesSam brings a beautiful woman into a fancy Beverly Hills furrier. "Show the lady your finest mink!" Sam exclaims.<br />As the lady tries on the coat, the furrier discreetly whispers to the man, "Ah sir, that particular fur goes for $65,000."<br />"No problem. I'll write you a check."<br />"Very good, sir," says the shop owner.<br />"Today is Saturday. You may come by on Monday to pick it up, after your check has cleared."<br /><br />On Monday, Sam returns. The store owner is outraged, "How dare you show your face in here? There isn't a single penny in your checking account."<br />"I just had to come by," grins Sam, "to thank you for the most wonderful weekend of my life."AnDuLuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13452256137522885226noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7898552243582253854.post-91372417788620470112012-02-13T12:10:00.002+08:002012-02-13T12:11:01.711+08:00Monday<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgY5FKX1P0HOZ5Ec9OaC__3CS__d8FDT10iEOeOR5Vb-9CwN7IX8zuPdwkx0vB3x_fylfZLOsyh4dkNY0XB2ujK9lkv1WTul3FY9BbpDVHQB5pUMBHt-pgKdQoS0uu0sgMgO1nOhEfV-Mw/s1600/402717_10150540723205723_515400722_9378777_507787937_n.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; width: 200px; height: 249px; text-align: center; display: block; cursor: pointer;" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5708467876833356130" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgY5FKX1P0HOZ5Ec9OaC__3CS__d8FDT10iEOeOR5Vb-9CwN7IX8zuPdwkx0vB3x_fylfZLOsyh4dkNY0XB2ujK9lkv1WTul3FY9BbpDVHQB5pUMBHt-pgKdQoS0uu0sgMgO1nOhEfV-Mw/s400/402717_10150540723205723_515400722_9378777_507787937_n.jpg" /></a>AnDuLuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13452256137522885226noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7898552243582253854.post-61156956824922932812012-01-16T10:15:00.000+08:002012-01-16T10:18:05.443+08:00Monday JokesThe hospital's consulting dietician was giving a lecture to several community nurses from the Southampton area of Hampshire.'The rubbish we put into our stomachs and consume should have killed most of us sitting here, years ago.<br /><br />Red meat is terrible. Fizzy drinks attack your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with msg. Vegetables can be disastrous because of fertilisers and pesticides and none of us realises the long-term damage being done by the rotten bacteria in our drinking water. <a href="http://www.guy-sports.com/humor/jokes/jokes_marriage.htm"></a><br /><br />However, there is one food that is incredibly dangerous and we all have, or will, eat it at some time in our lives. Now, is anyone here able to tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?'<br /><br />A 65-year-old nursing sister sitting in the front row stood up and said, 'Wedding cake.'AnDuLuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13452256137522885226noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7898552243582253854.post-24543074049846922472012-01-09T09:38:00.001+08:002012-01-09T09:39:52.894+08:00Monday JokesOne morning in the office, a man mentions to a coworker that her hair smells nice today. <br /><br />The woman suddenly grows enraged, storms into her supervisor’s office, and declares loudly that she’s quitting and has decided to file a sexual harassment suit.<br /><br />“Come on,” says the supervisor.<br />“What’s wrong with a guy saying your hair smells nice?”<br /><br />She says - <span style="font-size:180%;">“He’s a fucking midget!”</span>AnDuLuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13452256137522885226noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7898552243582253854.post-24930586062652760032011-12-31T11:00:00.002+08:002011-12-31T11:03:58.392+08:00The Last Day of 2011.<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPDPKQeV2eSDlbUcjz18wPf4V78Ax9egduHMuSikTOELs2IgTIqBkWtbzo_EOvI5J25rah19AhlZjBpBsEpTfC8qnTeb1ZjYgPB6XqFukuTToKP8Gd3hvt0iTX4I-SnX1mGPiCuqEBN3Y/s1600/IMG_0805.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; width: 300px; height: 400px; text-align: center; display: block; cursor: pointer;" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5692122253740923906" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPDPKQeV2eSDlbUcjz18wPf4V78Ax9egduHMuSikTOELs2IgTIqBkWtbzo_EOvI5J25rah19AhlZjBpBsEpTfC8qnTeb1ZjYgPB6XqFukuTToKP8Gd3hvt0iTX4I-SnX1mGPiCuqEBN3Y/s400/IMG_0805.JPG" /></a><br /><div>Alrite peeps, It's the last day of 2011. Excited?</div><div> </div><div>yes..yes and yes. i still have to work for this last day of the year. Need to cari makan ma....</div><div> </div><div>Ok..ok..guess lots of you will be going for the countdown tonight...Enjoy k...safety first...</div><div> </div><div>ciao. Happy New year everyone.</div>AnDuLuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13452256137522885226noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7898552243582253854.post-34879538999830877432011-03-31T17:53:00.002+08:002011-03-31T17:55:29.522+08:00I'm Back now.....Sorry peeps for being MIA for quite some time.i know..dont shoot me... ok..u all can just curse me..only me..dun curse my mom or dad cos they're not involved... ciao for now..will back with something in the sleeves soon...AnDuLuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13452256137522885226noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7898552243582253854.post-42665659120867609392010-10-18T09:59:00.000+08:002010-10-18T10:03:26.213+08:00Monday JokesDave returned home late and found a naked man<br />with a hard-on in his wife's bedroom closet.<br /><br />"Hey, what the fuck are you doing in there?"<br /><br />"I'm riding a bus."<br /><br />"That's a fucking stupid thing to say!"<br /><br />"Well, that's a fucking stupid thing to ask!"AnDuLuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13452256137522885226noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7898552243582253854.post-71670314522994461012010-09-27T10:26:00.001+08:002010-09-27T10:33:36.316+08:00Monday JokesA young man went into a sex shop to buy some condoms, and a sales girl approached him.<br /><br />Sales girl: Can I help you, Sir?<br /><br />Young man: Yes, I want to buy some condoms.<br /><br />Sales girl: What size do you need, Sir?<br /><br />Young man: I didn't realize they came in different sizes. I don't know what size I would need.<br /><br />Sales girl: May I hold your penis to tell what size you would need? As she was holding the penis, she called for assistance: "Give me a SMALL one... Wait! Make it MEDIUM...Wait! Make it LARGE... Shit! Give me a TISSUE !!!"AnDuLuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13452256137522885226noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7898552243582253854.post-84307710629863888072010-09-20T00:33:00.000+08:002010-09-20T00:37:57.346+08:00Monday JokesAn old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship holding her<br />hat on tight, so that it would not blow off in the wind. A gentleman<br />approached her and said:<br /><br />"Pardon me, madam. I do not intend to be forward, but did you know that<br />your dress is blowing up in this high wind?"<br /><br />"Yes, I know," said the lady, "I need both hands to hold onto this hat."<br /><br />"But, madam, you must know that your privates are exposed!" said the<br />gentleman in earnest.<br /><br />The woman looked down, then back up at the man and replied, "Sir,<br />anything you see down there is 85 years old. I just bought<br />this hat yesterday!"AnDuLuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13452256137522885226noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7898552243582253854.post-54612762295359312512010-09-18T12:26:00.002+08:002010-09-18T12:34:45.181+08:00Si Putih shivering...<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJpokG9G1xKnSpe8D_dZTWfvG9vJRxPh4NArOPmCVMIjd84guZkHiA_KcrMCxCi2bJiS7bET1FsVNV5iccavReXycwnigWHObyEorBr3OFU4tQZWdo2R6GFQpggZP3UoeLmmRf_R7fiXA/s1600/IMG_0398.JPG"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 300px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 400px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5518106322809422402" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJpokG9G1xKnSpe8D_dZTWfvG9vJRxPh4NArOPmCVMIjd84guZkHiA_KcrMCxCi2bJiS7bET1FsVNV5iccavReXycwnigWHObyEorBr3OFU4tQZWdo2R6GFQpggZP3UoeLmmRf_R7fiXA/s400/IMG_0398.JPG" /></a><br />Been feeling Si Putih was shaking and vibrating alot lately. So, send him in for a checkup and this is the caused for his "shiverings"<br /><br /><br /><br /><p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHe2BMxhcq5UU16w56AgnDnmGBhUWOB2Hf-lgvRdCmf_XplqKBf3u-MKX6xrI8W1efGIXos0R3QbxpgPZDyqsJ_ZsRVny5sz96RELzAz-emHOVVD6YPtKKhRFOVnH76ejpiYwKlfspjmc/s1600/IMG_0396.JPG"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 300px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5518106311604824242" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHe2BMxhcq5UU16w56AgnDnmGBhUWOB2Hf-lgvRdCmf_XplqKBf3u-MKX6xrI8W1efGIXos0R3QbxpgPZDyqsJ_ZsRVny5sz96RELzAz-emHOVVD6YPtKKhRFOVnH76ejpiYwKlfspjmc/s400/IMG_0396.JPG" /></a>This eventually came off like that. </p><p><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkbmblGobsbe2fx-qQsrZTC0wcHQc5rDskzQ8tNX2V2n1FSmeRVzVLg5gChqshHiOpNZiVHsz9Z9klMwAF2VHavA-l5rlBnkBwKbjYdoFV_dlx29JRafFpNFP467ETPZ2Y-QmiV9MJQGI/s1600/IMG_0395.JPG"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 300px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 400px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5518106309908016738" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkbmblGobsbe2fx-qQsrZTC0wcHQc5rDskzQ8tNX2V2n1FSmeRVzVLg5gChqshHiOpNZiVHsz9Z9klMwAF2VHavA-l5rlBnkBwKbjYdoFV_dlx29JRafFpNFP467ETPZ2Y-QmiV9MJQGI/s400/IMG_0395.JPG" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIBRpGT9CQ8fC6FvSCOLUR-RJ2s_aDuuM8-rgaaCgNo5KklgMz4ONQR4tQMGk4Zha3D1a5vmASNlW3t7m3APN6LMitI215El67kQJhOHBmF4hs1Rmjrq1bDvXwOf7UkdylIvFiINUCjTI/s1600/IMG_0394.JPG"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 300px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5518106296713023746" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIBRpGT9CQ8fC6FvSCOLUR-RJ2s_aDuuM8-rgaaCgNo5KklgMz4ONQR4tQMGk4Zha3D1a5vmASNlW3t7m3APN6LMitI215El67kQJhOHBmF4hs1Rmjrq1bDvXwOf7UkdylIvFiINUCjTI/s400/IMG_0394.JPG" /></a> </p>AnDuLuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13452256137522885226noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7898552243582253854.post-30998031703968011392010-09-13T10:37:00.000+08:002010-09-13T10:38:06.624+08:00Monday JokesOne day, a blonde who lived on the 12th floor of a high-rise apartment<br />building was out on her balcony, flapping the bed sheets to air them out, when<br />suddenly a great gust of wind caught the sheets and sent her over the edge,<br />plummeting to her death.. "Oh, shit!" the woman thought, "what a stupid way to die."<br />Without warning, a man on the 10th floor balcony stuck his arms out into<br />the air, catching the woman. Delirious from shock, the woman shouted "Oh, thank<br />you! You saved my life, thank you!"<br />The man replied "Do you suck?" Stunned at this, the woman said "No, I<br />don't suck!"<br />And with that, the man let go of her in the air. "Shit!" the woman<br />thought as she began to plummet again. Suddenly, another set of man's arms grabbed her<br />on the 9th floor.<br />"Thank God!" she screamed. " I would have died except that!" The man<br />asked "Do you fuck?" Absolutely aghast at the question, the woman answered "No, I<br />don't fuck!"<br />Once again, the arms that held her safe were no longer there. Falling<br />again, the woman thought that she would surely die. Just then, a set of arms<br />stretched out from the 7th floor. Not believing her luck, the woman shouted "I suck! I<br />fuck!"<br />"Slut..." the man said....and dropped her.AnDuLuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13452256137522885226noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7898552243582253854.post-33732425583958820712010-08-30T10:33:00.001+08:002010-08-30T10:49:04.372+08:00Monday JokesMalay Poem:<br /><br />Sajak ini dicipta oleh kartunis Ujang dan telah dideklemasikan di UKM pada<br />tahun 1992.<br /><br />Atuk Merdeka<br /><br />Cucuku,<br />Kau ingin menjadi apa bila dewasa nanti?<br /><br />Atukku,<br />Aku ingin menjadi kayu.<br /><br />Jika kau menjadi kayu,<br />Jadilah kayu golf,<br />Disebut kayu tetapi besi,<br />Diulit Dato', tauke dan menteri,<br />Jangan kau menjadi kayu tunggul.<br /><br />Cucuku,<br />Kau ingin menjadi apa bila dewasa nanti?<br /><br />Atukku,<br />Aku ingin menjadi pagar.<br /><br />Jika kau menjadi pagar,<br />Jadilah pagar karan,<br />Dipicit suis power berjalan,<br />Dirempuh diusik, boleh pengsan,<br />Jangan kau jadi pagar makan padi.<br /><br />Cucuku,<br />Kau ingin menjadi apa bila kau besar nanti?<br /><br />Atukku,<br />Aku ingin menjadi mangkuk.<br /><br />Jika kau menjadi mangkuk,<br />Jadilah mangkuk purba zaman batu,<br />Buruan ahli arkeologi setiap waktu,<br />Membawa bukti tamadun dan ilmu,<br />Jangan kau menjadi mangkuk hayun.<br /><br />Cucuku,<br />Kau ingin menjadi apa bila kau dewasa nanti?<br /><br />Atukku,<br />Aku ingin menjadi bintang.<br /><br />Jika kau menjadi bintang,<br />Jadilah bintang di langit,<br />Tiada boleh ditukar wang ringgit,<br />Tidak boleh dijolok dikait,<br />Jangan kau menjadi bintang tiga.<br /><br />Cucuku,<br />Kau ingin menjadi apa bila dewasa nanti?<br /><br />Atukku,<br />Aku ingin menjadi seluar dalam.<br /><br />Jika kau menjadi seluar dalam,<br />Jadilah seluar dalam Superman,<br />Sarung di luar nampak gentleman,<br />Tiada manusia memberi komen,<br />Jangan kau menjadi seluar dalam model playboy.<br /><br />Cucuku,<br />Kau ingin menjadi apa bila dewasa nanti?<br /><br />Atukku,<br />Aku ingin MERDEKA.<br /><br />Jika kau ingin MERDEKA ,<br />Lupakan tentang perarakan di Dataran Merdeka,<br />Simpanlah budget kereta berhias dan pentas lintas hormat,<br />untuk membeli kayu,<br />untuk membeli pagar,<br />untuk membeli mangkuk,<br />untuk membeli bintang,<br />untuk membeli seluar dalam,<br />untuk membeli MERDEKA.<br /><br />MERDEKA, MERDEKA, MERDEKA !!!AnDuLuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13452256137522885226noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7898552243582253854.post-69641769962974709512010-08-23T00:11:00.000+08:002010-08-23T00:12:51.698+08:00Monday JokesA woman was shopping in a furniture store for a new mattress.<br />As she bent over to examine the tenth mattress she had<br />considered, she suddenly let out a horrendous fart.<br /><br />"Excuse me," she said, embarrassed, to the clerk who was<br />helping her.<br /><br />"Heck, I'm used to it, lady," he said. "When you see the price<br />on that one, your gonna shit!"AnDuLuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13452256137522885226noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7898552243582253854.post-26417766986529184072010-08-16T11:54:00.001+08:002010-08-16T11:57:01.914+08:00Monday JokesDorothy and Edna two "senior" widows, are talking at the local coffee shop.<br /><br />Dorothy: "That nice Joe asked me out for a date . . . I know that you went out with him last week, and I wanted to talk with you about him before I give him my answer."<br /><br />Edna: "Well . . . I'll tell you. He shows up at my apartment punctually at 7 P.M., dressed like such a gentleman in a fine suit, and he brings me such beautiful flowers! Then he takes me downstairs, and what's there but a luxury car . . a limousine, uniformed chauffeur and all.<br />Then he takes me out for dinner. . a marvelous dinner - lobster, champagne, dessert, and after-dinner drinks. Then we go see a show . . . let me tell you, Dorothy, I enjoyed it so much I could have just died from pleasure! So then we are coming back to my apartment and he turns into an ANIMAL. Completely crazy, he tears off my expensive new dress and has his way with me.... two times!"<br /><br />Dorothy: "Goodness gracious! . . so you are telling me I shouldn't go<br />out with him?"<br /><br />Edna: "No, no, no . I'm just saying, wear an old dress."AnDuLuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13452256137522885226noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7898552243582253854.post-22409749911381456672010-07-26T11:08:00.000+08:002010-07-26T11:09:54.334+08:00Monday JokesA brunette, a red head, and a blonde were having a very interesting<br />conversation and it got around to their daughters. The brunette said, "I<br />went in my daughter's room the other day and found a pack of cigarettes,<br />I didn't even know she smoked!" The red head said, "I went in my<br />daughter's room and found a half-empty bottle of vodka! I didn't even<br />know she drank!" Then the blonde burst out and said, "I went in my<br />daughter's room and found a pack of condoms, half-empty, I didn't even<br />know she had a penis!"AnDuLuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13452256137522885226noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7898552243582253854.post-27278415842814834982010-07-19T01:57:00.001+08:002010-07-19T02:02:55.577+08:00Monday JokesDEAR MADAM:<br />THANK YOU FOR YOUR RECENT ORDER FROM OUR<br />SEX TOYS WEBSITE.<br />YOU'VE REQUESTED THE LARGE RED VIBRATOR AS<br />FEATURED ON OUR WALL DISPLAY.<br />PLEASE SELECT ANOTHER ITEM.<br />THAT'S OUR FIRE EXTINGUISHER.AnDuLuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13452256137522885226noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7898552243582253854.post-10754870128456621882010-07-05T11:02:00.001+08:002010-07-05T11:02:13.395+08:00Monday JokesA blonde calls the Delta Airlines and asks, "can you tell me how long<br />it'll take to fly from San Francisco to New York city"?<br /><br />The agent replies, Just a minute . . .<br /><br />"Thank you" the blonde says, and hangs up.AnDuLuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13452256137522885226noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7898552243582253854.post-5058590100925514562010-06-28T01:17:00.001+08:002010-06-28T01:20:03.160+08:00Monday JokesA guy goes into the doctor's office. There is a banana stuck in one of<br />his ears, a carrot stuck in one nostril, and a cucumber in the other<br />ear.<br />The man says, "Doc, this is terrible. What's wrong with me?"<br />The doctor says, "Well, first of all, you're not eating right"AnDuLuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13452256137522885226noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7898552243582253854.post-64544362702600117562010-06-21T10:24:00.000+08:002010-06-21T10:25:42.163+08:00Monday JokesA couple of blondes were driving through Louisiana when they came to a sign that told them they were almost to Natchitoches. They argued all the way there about how to pronounce the name of the town. Finally they stopped for lunch. After getting their food, one of the blondes said to the cashier, "Can you settle an argument for us? Very slowly, tell us where we are."<br /><br />The cashier leaned over the counter and said:<br /><br />"Buuurrrrrr-Gerrrrrr Kiiiinnnnnggg"AnDuLuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13452256137522885226noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7898552243582253854.post-61807887450633120272010-05-24T10:34:00.001+08:002010-05-24T10:40:44.052+08:00Monday JokesA blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down.<br />The waiter, who is also the owner, walks up to the blind man and hands<br />him a menu. "I'm sorry sir, but I am blind and can't read the menu.<br />Just<br />bring me a dirty fork from a previous customer, I'll smell it and order<br />from there." A little confused, the owner walks over to the dirty dish<br />pile and picks up a greasy fork. He returns to the blind man's table<br />and<br />hands it to him. The blind man puts the fork to his nose and takes in a<br />deep breath. "Ahh, yes that's what I'll have, meatloaf and mashed<br />potatoes." Unbelievable, the owner says to himself as he walks towards<br />the kitchen. The cook happens to be the owner's wife and he tells her<br />what had just happened. The blind man eats his meal and leaves.<br /><br />Several days later the blind man returns and the owner mistakenly<br />brings<br />him a menu again. "Sir, remember ? I'm the blind man." "I'm sorry, I<br />didn't recognize you. I'll go get you a dirty fork." The owner again<br />retrieves a dirty fork and brings it to the blind man. After another<br />deep breath, the blind man says, "That smells great, I'll take the<br />macaroni and cheese with broccoli." Once again walking away in<br />disbelief, the owner thinks the blind man is screwing around with him<br />and tells his wife that the next time the blind man comes in he's going<br />to test him. The blind man eats and leaves.<br /><br />He returns the following week, but this time the owner sees him coming<br />and runs to the kitchen. He tells his wife, "Amy, rub this fork on your<br />panties before I take it to the blind man." Amy complies and hands her<br />husband the fork back. As the blind man walks in and sits down, the<br />owner is ready and waiting. "Good afternoon sir, this time I remembered<br />you and I already have the fork ready for you." The blind man puts the<br />fork to his nose, takes a deep whiff and says,<br /><br />"Hey! I didn't know that Amy worked here!"AnDuLuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13452256137522885226noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7898552243582253854.post-61372230380919343752010-05-17T10:11:00.000+08:002010-05-17T10:13:43.558+08:00Monday JokesOn a business trip to the Orient, Joe decided to spend his last night having wild sex with a Geisha Girl. <br /><br />Upon returning home three weeks later, he noticed a very weird green, festering sore growing on his penis. <br /><br />He went to the doctor, Dr. Jones, who, after hearing of his Orient trip and extracurricular activities, told him he had Hong Kong Dong and the only cure was complete amputation.<br /><br />Joe was horrified, and decided to get a second opinion. Joe contacted Dr. Smith and showed him the green growth. Dr. Smith said, "I am sorry but Dr. Jones is correct. We must amputate right away". <br /><br />Joe could not accept this. His friend suggested that he visit an oriental doctor. They must deal with this all the time. <br /><br />He went to Dr. Chu Wong. Dr. Wong agreed with the diagnosis of Hong Kong Dong, but said <br /><br />"These Amadican Doctors - so quick to Chop Chop chop. Amputation not necesally." <br /><br />Joe was relieved. <br /><br />Dr. Wong said "You wait three weeks and it fall off on its own."AnDuLuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13452256137522885226noreply@blogger.com21tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7898552243582253854.post-13023201694210286252010-05-10T11:20:00.001+08:002010-05-10T11:36:32.756+08:00Monday JokesOne day a man called the church office. He said, "Can I speak to the head<br />hog at the trough?"<br /><br />The secretary thought she heard what he said, but said, "I'm sorry, who?"<br /><br />The caller repeated, "Can I speak to the head hog at the trough?"<br /><br />She said, "Well, if you mean the preacher, then you may refer to him as<br />'Pastor,' or 'Brother,' but I prefer that you not refer to him as the 'head<br />hog at the trough'!"<br /><br />To this the man replied, "Well, I was planning on giving $100,000 to the<br />building fund...."<br /><br />To this the secretary quickly responded "Hang on, I think the big fat pig<br />just walked in!"AnDuLuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13452256137522885226noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7898552243582253854.post-14538721459431945362010-05-03T11:55:00.001+08:002010-05-03T11:55:44.823+08:00Monday JokesTwo men were grumbling over their problems. The first man said, "My<br />wife left me for a man who drives an ice cream truck."<br /><br />His friend began to ask, "You mean..."<br /><br />"Yeah," the first guy replied. "She left me for Mr. Softy."AnDuLuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13452256137522885226noreply@blogger.com51tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7898552243582253854.post-36085758111887976672010-04-19T22:41:00.001+08:002010-04-19T22:52:09.316+08:00Monday JokesTwo men are approaching each other on the sidewalk. Both are dragging their right foot as they walk. As they meet, one man looks at the other knowingly, points at his foot and says, "Vietnam, 1969." The other points behind him and says, "Dog shit, 20 feet back."AnDuLuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13452256137522885226noreply@blogger.com0