A guy found a magic lamp and naturally, rubbed it. The genie popped out and said, "I'll grant you any wish you want."The guy thought and thought and finally gave his answer.
"I want to be hard all the time and get all the ass I want."
"As you wish," the genie replied.
So, the genie turned him into a toilet seat.
The Worst Day Of My Entire Life
For more than an hour, a man sat at a bar staring into his glass.
Suddenly a burly truck driver sat down next to him, grabbed the guy's drink and gulped it down.The poor fellow burst into tears.
"Oh, come on, pal," the truckie said."I was just joking. Here I'll buy you another one."
"No, that's not it," the man blubbered. "This has been the worst day of my entire life.
This morning I was late for work and ended up getting fired.when I left the office I found my car had been stolen, so I had to walk ten kilometers home.Then I walked in and found my wife with another man, so I came here. And just when I'm about to end it all, You show up and drink my fucking Poison."
A frog telephones a psychic hotline and is told,
"You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you."
"Great," says the frog,
"Will I meet her at a party?"
"No," said the psychic,
"Next year—in biology class."
Anything wrong with the picture above?
It's in a petrolmart at the Dengkil resthouse.
This is a new dessert shop at Lg new wing (where Giant used to e) Everyone will feel very curious with the new things and you will want to try it especially you see many people sitting inside the shop.
Tau Fu Fa...RM4
Its smooth as silk and the syrup has a hint of ginger. Good stuff.
Hak Lo Mai with Mango.
According to their menu, all mangoes are from Philippines. It's very fragrant and sweet. To me, this dessert taste abit akward to me as it doesnt really compliment each other. the taste doesnt match.
Durain pancake - RM9
This is a must try!! Very very nice.
Overall, everything is kinda ideal for their dessert but they tend to have too many choices with alot of different fruit mixtures for the same dessert.
Three guys enter a disabled swimming contest.
The first has no arms.
The second no legs and the third has no body, just a head.
They all line up, the whistle blows and "splash" they're all in the pool
The guy with no arms takes the lead instantly but the guy with no legs is closing fast. The head of course sank straight to the bottom.Ten lengths later and the guy with no legs finishes first.
He can still see bubbles coming from the bottom of the pool,so he decides he had better dive down to rescue him.He picks up the head, swims back up to the surface and places the head at the side of the pool, where-upon the head starts coughing and spluttering.
Eventually the head catches his breath and shouts... "Three years I've spent learning to swim with my f#cking ears, then two minutes before the whistle, some asshole puts a swimming cap on me!"
char siu pau, kaya pau, red bean pau, etc.
Ok. at first glance, it looks just like those donuts craze every malaysians been goin thru. But, if u look harder, it's actually a bao (or pao) that is with lots of different toppings.
they also do come in a lot of different fillings. a lot of choices. no harm trying. lol
however, it's still a pau. so. it only taste best when eaten hot.
Prior to joining a new company, this guy A was working at boat quay area. In those tall building offices like UOB and such. His office was quite High up the level at least 30 and above. Normally he will have to stay Back for OT and in the evening, all the lifts will be stopped due to security reasons. Whenever he wanted to leave, he will need to call the old security uncle to activate the lift from ground floor to his level. Then the uncle will send the lift up.. After sometime, he left the company and joined another place where his office also very high up in the building. Hence if do OT, also need to call uncle to send lift up. Then it came the day that he's working OT for the first time at the new place. He stayed back till 12 plus am and when he's about to leave, he called! the security uncle to send the lift up. After packing up he went to the lobby to wait for the lift.
He waited and waited. 10 mins passed, Lift not up. He waited for another 10 mins and call the security uncle. S denotes security here.
A: Hello Uncle ah, have you send the lift up?
S: Yeah sent liao.
A: No leh I been waiting for 20 mins liao leh
S: No meh? okie okie I send again.
Another 5 minutes went by. No lift came up. The guy got worried. He's the last person to leave and there's no one around. He called the uncle on his handphone again.
A: Er... Uncle ah, you sure you sent the lift up?
S: Yeah I sent it up twice liao leh.
A: But I saw the lifts all on the first floor leh!
S: Aiyoh. Nevermind. I take the lift up and look for you.
Again, A waited. 5 minutes passed but none of the lift are moving. Then suddenly, his hp ring. The uncle voice was on the other side of the line sounding very weird.
S: Where are you? ! I am here. But I cannot find you.
All this while A was staring at the display of the lifts. All at level 1..... and the uncle is here.... shit something is not right. A straight away chiong to the stairs and dashed down the building... When he reached ground level, he chiong to the security counter and he found out that....
......
.......
......
He had actually called the old security uncle in the building of his ex-company and not the security uncle of his new office -_- He work till siao liao and was damn blur. Feeling very pai seh, he also never call back to explain to the security uncle from the building of his ex-company.
Blur blur and poor uncle. He must be the one who actually freaked out going all the way up and saw no one there...hahaha
Moral of the story -please dun work till become like sotong...hehe. :P