Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Monday, December 29, 2008
An elderly couple sat through a porno movie twice. They didn't get upto leave until the theater was ready to close for the night. "You folks must've enjoyed the show," the usher said.
"Disgusting," said the old lady.
"It was revolting," her husband added.
"Then why did you sit through it twice?" the usher asks.
"We had to wait until you turned up the house lights," the old ladyreplied.
"We couldn't find my panties, and his teeth were in them!"
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Sunday, December 21, 2008
"Could you pass me the sugar, sugar?" said the first gal.
"Could you pass me the honey, honey?" said the second.
"Could you pass me the bacon, pig?" said the third.
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Monday, December 15, 2008
1. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
2. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.
3. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.
4. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply Using the sink.
5. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a Timer.
6. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget about the toothache.
Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are:
You only need two tools:WD-40 and Duct Tape.
If it doesn’t move and should, Use the WD-40.
If it shouldn’t move And does, use the duct tape.
Have a great week!
Friday, December 5, 2008
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
These are the suckers that give me no choice.
But after 7 hours of work which includes putting on the new tiles and new paint.
Well..will paint the door panels to white if got time later on.
I like the Apple green.
Monday, December 1, 2008
'Give me all your money, or you'll be GEOGRAPHY!'
The cashier laughed and said, 'You mean to say 'HISTORY.'
The robber answered, 'Don't change the subject.'
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Monday, November 24, 2008
Son: On Monday, teacher said 3 + 5 = 8
Son: On Tuesday, she said 4 + 4 = 8. On Wednesday, she said 6 + 2 = 8. If she can't make up her mind, how I know the right answer la ???
Friday, November 21, 2008
Got White Coffee, Milo & Teh Tarik.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Assume monthly basic salary is RM4000.
- If your monthly EPF contribution is 11% ( RM440 ), taxable income = RM3560, income tax payable = RM77.
- If your monthly EPF contribution is 8% ( RM320 ), taxable income = RM3680, income tax payable = RM109.
Got this from email. True or not? Why the G's only know how to suck blood?
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Decided to try it out as it was located right at the corner in the middle of the New Wing n Old Wing of 1Utama.
Had ice-lemong-tea and Hot tea.
The food came. Lou su fan as in Rats tail with sauce n minced pork meat.
Monday, November 17, 2008
Abe went to a brothel and told the madam, "I want a girl with big boobs and a small box."
"Why?" she asked him.
"Never mind!" replied Abe.
"I`m paying for it. I want a girlwith big tits and a small cooze!"
"No problem," said the madam.
"Go straight up the stairs toroom 23."
A few minutes later there was a knock on the door, and a young woman walked in.
"Okay," she said, "are you the guy with the big mouth and the small pecker?"
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
It's a gift. my Birthday present.
Let's see whats inside.
A cd, a dvd, lyric book and 2 stickers.
Monday, November 10, 2008
His friend, Steve, walked over and asked, "What's wrong?"
"It's my mother-in-law," John replied, while shaking his head sadly.
"Ihave a real problem with her."
"Cheer up," Steve said.
"Everyone has problems with their mother-in-law."
"Yeah," John answered.
"But I got mine pregnant."