Monday Jokes

A 700 pound man walks into a doctor's office. This doctor is known for his unusual but effective methods. The man says, "Doctor you must help me. I have tried everything. I just cannot lose this weight."

The doctor hesitates for a minute. He finally looks up and says, "The only thing I can do is to sew your mouth shut and teach you to eat from your butt." The man agrees. He returns one week later to have the procedure.Six months pass and the patient returns to have the stitches out.

The doctor says, "Now return to me in 1 month for a post-op checkup." The patient agrees and leaves an astonishing 180 pounds.

One month later, the patient returns for his post-op checkup. As the patient sits down in the chair, the doctor notices the man is twitching his butt up and down. He lets it go and continues his examination.

After one hour of watching this man twitch his butt, the doctor can't take it anymore.He finally says, "Mr. Robertson. I have concluded that you have a nervous tick in your butt as a result of your operation."

The man thinks, laughs out loud, and says "Doc that ain't no twitch. I'm chewing gum. Wanna see me blow a bubble?"