Monday, August 30, 2010

Monday Jokes

Monday, August 30, 2010 0
Malay Poem:

Sajak ini dicipta oleh kartunis Ujang dan telah dideklemasikan di UKM pada
tahun 1992.

Atuk Merdeka

Cucuku,
Kau ingin menjadi apa bila dewasa nanti?

Atukku,
Aku ingin menjadi kayu.

Jika kau menjadi kayu,
Jadilah kayu golf,
Disebut kayu tetapi besi,
Diulit Dato', tauke dan menteri,
Jangan kau menjadi kayu tunggul.

Cucuku,
Kau ingin menjadi apa bila dewasa nanti?

Atukku,
Aku ingin menjadi pagar.

Jika kau menjadi pagar,
Jadilah pagar karan,
Dipicit suis power berjalan,
Dirempuh diusik, boleh pengsan,
Jangan kau jadi pagar makan padi.

Cucuku,
Kau ingin menjadi apa bila kau besar nanti?

Atukku,
Aku ingin menjadi mangkuk.

Jika kau menjadi mangkuk,
Jadilah mangkuk purba zaman batu,
Buruan ahli arkeologi setiap waktu,
Membawa bukti tamadun dan ilmu,
Jangan kau menjadi mangkuk hayun.

Cucuku,
Kau ingin menjadi apa bila kau dewasa nanti?

Atukku,
Aku ingin menjadi bintang.

Jika kau menjadi bintang,
Jadilah bintang di langit,
Tiada boleh ditukar wang ringgit,
Tidak boleh dijolok dikait,
Jangan kau menjadi bintang tiga.

Cucuku,
Kau ingin menjadi apa bila dewasa nanti?

Atukku,
Aku ingin menjadi seluar dalam.

Jika kau menjadi seluar dalam,
Jadilah seluar dalam Superman,
Sarung di luar nampak gentleman,
Tiada manusia memberi komen,
Jangan kau menjadi seluar dalam model playboy.

Cucuku,
Kau ingin menjadi apa bila dewasa nanti?

Atukku,
Aku ingin MERDEKA.

Jika kau ingin MERDEKA ,
Lupakan tentang perarakan di Dataran Merdeka,
Simpanlah budget kereta berhias dan pentas lintas hormat,
untuk membeli kayu,
untuk membeli pagar,
untuk membeli mangkuk,
untuk membeli bintang,
untuk membeli seluar dalam,
untuk membeli MERDEKA.

MERDEKA, MERDEKA, MERDEKA !!!

Monday, August 23, 2010

Monday Jokes

Monday, August 23, 2010 0
A woman was shopping in a furniture store for a new mattress.
As she bent over to examine the tenth mattress she had
considered, she suddenly let out a horrendous fart.

"Excuse me," she said, embarrassed, to the clerk who was
helping her.

"Heck, I'm used to it, lady," he said. "When you see the price
on that one, your gonna shit!"

Monday, August 16, 2010

Monday Jokes

Monday, August 16, 2010 0
Dorothy and Edna two "senior" widows, are talking at the local coffee shop.

Dorothy: "That nice Joe asked me out for a date . . . I know that you went out with him last week, and I wanted to talk with you about him before I give him my answer."

Edna: "Well . . . I'll tell you. He shows up at my apartment punctually at 7 P.M., dressed like such a gentleman in a fine suit, and he brings me such beautiful flowers! Then he takes me downstairs, and what's there but a luxury car . . a limousine, uniformed chauffeur and all.
Then he takes me out for dinner. . a marvelous dinner - lobster, champagne, dessert, and after-dinner drinks. Then we go see a show . . . let me tell you, Dorothy, I enjoyed it so much I could have just died from pleasure! So then we are coming back to my apartment and he turns into an ANIMAL. Completely crazy, he tears off my expensive new dress and has his way with me.... two times!"

Dorothy: "Goodness gracious! . . so you are telling me I shouldn't go
out with him?"

Edna: "No, no, no . I'm just saying, wear an old dress."
 
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