Something New for a New Year

A new year, a new beginning. Isn’t that what they say?

Get rid of the old crap and make room for new adventures and experiences. After all, 2007 wasn't a pretty good year, but hopefully 2008 will be better. There are a lot of things to look forward to and I think I can finally allow myself to do so. I also made some new year’s resolutions, something I’ve never done before since I know I’ll only forget about them the day after. This time though, I could think of a few pretty good ones so I thought it at least would be worth a try.

1. Taking better care of myself including turn bad habits around.
2. Save money.
3. Keep reminding myself every day I’m not as bad as I think.

Some of them will probably be harder to keep than others, but I don’t know unless I try, so here goes I guess.

It’s funny, being a grown up isn’t quite what I thought it would be like. Responsibility and stuff is okay and so on but I thought some things wouldn’t happen.

Looking back on 2007, it was more down than ups for me.

Making a big entrance back to my singlehood after a 5 year relationship. Well, its kinda hard at first but then, there is nothing that i can do but to accept. Well...I kinda get back on to my both of my feet now and things are also seem to be kinda going the ways I wanted....(Duhh..I'm doing things that I like, and no one is there to bother)

To think of it, I had kind of given up I think, or I’d come to conclusion I didn’t care. Unless someone was going to fall on my head I wasn’t going to bother, and I didn’t.

A rather big surprise indeed when my father, decided to leave all of us (my mom, sis n bros) behind without any known reason of his death. It has been 58 days already he left us, and my mom still can't accept the fact.

Had a long talk with my mom yesterday as it was my parents 34th Anniversary...which of course, makes her really sad and....I'm glad I'm by her side to go through these moments with her. May my dad rest in peace.

Then… that someone fell on my head when I least expected it; when I thought I was done with searching and chasing. Since then, I’ve been able to see myself in a different light. For the first time ever, I can look at myself and see someone beautiful. Beyond what I see in myself, beside the load of crap I’m still carrying around inside of me, I can see a pretty face. I don’t know, perhaps it is because she taught me how to smile like I mean it, now I can smile and feel it from the inside.

Smiling makes you more beautiful, she made me discover that. There are of course still days when I can’t see things from this angle, but I can in truth say that seeing someone to talk to is helping a lot more than I thought, I understand that now. The lows haven’t been as low in a while and I can straighten my back and say I’ve fine....at least..for the moment.

For last I’m going to start the new year with sending my dear friends a thought and saying THANK YOU for still being around and putting up with me. I love you all to bits.