Lets talk SHITS!!!! (18SG)

Life goes on....

Thx Lollipop for the fine comments...really appreciate it....

Jasmine...cheer up....
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ok...yes...i'm in the office now..and i have to update my blog so that Ice'T can eat her breakfast. Lol...

Ice'T, if u r reading this...pls...finish ur breakfast before reading this..kakakakka


A friend asked me over to her place for dinner. Apparently, two of her other girlfriends were coming over too and you know what? In my heart of hearts, I was thinking and my heart suddenly started beating like some African tribal drum. Is she wanna try to do those kolot stuff like introducing me to her friends....etc..u know la... I was thinking of getting on my knees and thanking the universe for such bounty and such blessings man. Having a cun chick introducing more cun chicks to you– whatever you call it, it’s the ultimate man’s desire.

When I reached her place, there were three of them ladies, sitting at a table tucking into ‘KFC’ – Kentucky fried chicken and sad to say, they are casually clothed and decent looking. Luckily i'm not that "over dressed" myself, with just jeans n a polo T. Well, I was hungry so I polished off four pieces of original style chicken. And some potato wedges and some pita bread stuff which I didn’t recognise.

My friend, she had some sabah chilli sauce, a really nasty spicy concoction which will burn your tongue but the worst is yet to come. Why? Because this morning, when I'm going thru the shitting process, my intestines felt like they are on fire and my anus aka the asshole is gonna feel like....

"Houston, we've got a problem"

.........a few seconds later

"Houston, we got ignition and we got lift off!!!"
.......

LIFT OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yeah, my asshole is felt like it is some exhaust pipe on the space shuttle. And why am I writing about this?

Well, one of her friends was talking about how good the food tasted and suddenly between mouthfuls of chicken in her mouth, she said, "I haven’t taken a shit in three days…" I almost fell off my chair. WhaT The F%^K???? I felt the chicken that I had swallowed kinda slowly easing up my throat. I felt like throwing up.

The three girls then started to talk about their shitting experiences as if I wasn’t there. Like 98' Degrees, Yea I'm the invisible man~~~~ How they stare and analyse their shit when it finally comes out, the different varieties of shit colour, shit texture and shit length when they eat different stuff.

One of the girls was saying, "I have experienced before – I don’t shit for one week and the shit that comes out is so smelly. Nothing smells as bad as that." And her friend replied instantly, "I don’t agree. I think sperm smells really bad, much worse than shit. Even one week old shit that’s stuck in ur arse." (me again having the WTF?!? look on my face).

The first girl then asked, "How you know? How you know sperm smells bad? You smell before? What were you doing when you smell the sperm? Who’s sperm is it?" All three girls broke out laughing to my great mortification and embarrassment. They were making fun of our most precious male essence. Our life and our pride. My balls shrank dudes!

And they went on and on about what kinds of natural remedies that are available to coax the shit out of their asses. And one of her friends said, "Wah, I try this melilia stuff and I shat three times in a day lah. So nice, so smooth and creamy."

Fuck man!!!I put my right hand over my mouth. I massaged my throat and I suddenly got up and ran to the kitchen sink and let it all out. Looking kinda green, I walked bravely back to the three girls. They stopped talking and looked at me concerned, "Are you okay?" "Oh I am okay. As okay as any man who is in the middle of eating and gets unwanted audio and visual stimulation on the practical dissertation of the composition, visual look and sensory feel of fecal wastes extruding from your sexy backsides."And they started laughing.

The three gorgeous bitches.

Ps - Ice'T, enjoyed your breakfast?